Tempting

tempting to ride an endless road

taking me to nowhere

in the midst of dust

tempting to run away

isolate in lost island

rotten to death

tempting to push the pedal to the max

to bring me to the next life

to left what's behind

tempting to swim in the red pool

suffocate in my own pool of blood

end my suffer

tempting to electrified myself

erase all my memories

and live in solemn

tempting to end everything

for the next life

but i dont want to be selfish to do all.

as I will kill more hearts than my ownself.

I'm trapped and remained suffocate for the rest of my life.

....

I'm confused

My feelings is not helping me

I don't know what's the right thing to do.

If this thing keep going on,

I could be sick again.

But I don't plan to be sick again.

I don't plan to go all over this ever again.

My time bomb is ticking...

I need to get away...

Someone need to save me...

I'm scared.

My 30’s

 

I’m turning 30 today! 3 consecutive days of early celebration with friends, family and 3 cute cakes .

I am blessed with great friends and family and a happy life

     

Basically, none that I plan to achieved in my 20’s achieved.

So will see how my luck in my 30’s will be.

V-day

How should I say this...

It's weird and shocked,

It's surprising and unpredictable,

It crushed me hard for a weird reasons,

It should not happened,

I've been avoiding this kind of feeling for so, so long,

and suddenly it happened yesterday.

I don't know why I feel happy but sad,

I don't know why I felt what I felt,

But its unavoidable, it just can't,

I'm not that strong,

I'm so sorry.

Believe me, my heart felt something,

It makes me restless,

But I'm not that strong,

I'm so sorry,

I just can't.

I didn't know why I cried,

But I did.

and I'm so sad...

I need sometimes alone...

please forgive me.